Asexual myths I’m tired of hearing:
- Sexual abuse causes asexuality
- Asexuals don’t masturbate
- If you’re heteromantic asexual, it’s the same as being heterosexual
- Demisexuals and grey asexuals are just “special snowflakes” who are celibate but want a special title
- Asexuals can’t enjoy writing/reading/watching erotica
- If you’re asexual, you can’t think anyone is good looking
- If you’re asexual, you can’t enjoy nude art or appreciate the human form
- Asexuality is caused by low hormone levels and can be fixed
- Asexuals just haven’t had good sex yet, having good sex will cure them
- Asexuality is a mental illness
- Asexuality is a phase
- Asexuals are also all aromantic
- Asexuals just need to meet the right person, they’ll become normal if they do
- Asexuals are all fat and unattractive
- Eventually, everyone becomes asexual due to old age
- Asexuals are all autistic losers who couldn’t get laid anyhow
- Everyone loves sex, asexuals are just in denial
- Asexuality is an excuse women use to not have to “put out”
- There are no asexual men
- Asexuals don’t/can’t have a gender preference
- You can’t be born asexual
- If you have sex, you aren’t asexual
Gender Expression, Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation
Q: How do I know what my gender or orientation is?
A: I get a lot of “how do I know if I’m (insert gender or orientation here)” questions. What it comes down to is a lot of people have difficulty knowing for sure. We always hear these stories of, “Oh well I knew since I was 7 and I never doubted myself ever.” which it’s great if you have such certainty but both orientations and genders are fluid. They change and that’s okay. We get so set in people telling us “oh it’s just a phase.” “You don’t really know who you are.” that we feel the need to prove ourselves. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Labels don’t matter if they make you miserable or confused. The purpose of labels is to let you know you’re not alone and there are people out there like you and to be able to find those people and have a safe community. If you feel a certain way explore it. Present yourself the way you’re comfortable, love who you’re going to love, have sex with who you want to, and forget all of the little messages society tells you. How you feel is all that matters. If you find a label that makes you feel safe and happy explore that community. If you want to tell someone about yourself chances are they’re not going to understand a one word answer so you might have to explain anyway. It’s great to learn about different genders and orientations and explore those communities because you learn from it and you learn more about yourself and you might find something special there. No one fully knows themselves, that’s what life is about. A journey to find out who you are. You don’t have to learn everything at once.
Q: What is the difference between transsexual and transgender?
A: Transsexual usually refers to anyone who plans to or is going through hormone replacement therapy or sex realignment surgery. Transgender people don’t have to be transitioning. However, the word “Transsexual” is kind of going out of favour so more and more people are using transgender.
Q: What’s the safe way to bind your chest?
A: The safest way is to get a really good sports bra that is the right size to be comfortable but still make your breasts appear smaller. You can get two really good sports bras and put the top one on backwards but this can get uncomfortable (for me at least). Also, layering is your best friend. You can wear a good sports bra, tight tank top, and t-shirt and maybe even put a vest, over shirt, sweater, or jacket over it. You could try a looser binder, but that’s kind of difficult to do since most binders have to be ordered online and you can’t really try those online. You could get a larger binder and if you’re any good at sewing try to alter it to be the right size. This can be tricky though depending on the type of binder. If you’re not worried about being uncomfortable or if you plan on having surgery you can find a good binder that fits perfectly, although finding the right size can be tricky. If you’re planning on having surgery is really the only time it’s a good idea to bind every day and you should never bind with ace bandages or tape.
Q: What does the * after Trans mean?
A: Basically this makes it more inclusive. Trans* can be anyone who is not cis gender, anyone whose gender identity doesn’t match up with their designated sex. This includes non binary identities. Trans without the asterisk just refers the trans men and women.
Done editing the Gender and Orientations section of my FAQ. Are there any other frequently asked questions that need to be put in this category? Do you have any questions about gender or orientation that aren’t answered here?
It’s totally normal for teens to have questions about sex and sexuality. For over 18 years Sex, Etc. has given teens the honest and accurate sexual health information they want, need and deserve.
Sex, Etc. can help teens 13-19 years-old with these topics:
- Your Body & Health
- Sex & Relationships
- STDs & Safer Sex
- Birth Control & Pregnancy
- LGBTQ & Gender
- Sexual Abuse & Violence
The May/June 2012 issue of AVENues is finally out! AVENues, AVEN’s bimonthly newsletter, features interviews, articles, short stories, poetry, and more, and is free to print and distribute. Feel free to give your feedback in this thread.
The submission deadline for July/August 2012 is still 22 June. For more information, please view the Call for Submissions over in Announcements. Please send all submissions to email@example.com.
High Quality (Preferred quality for viewing and printing)
Low Quality (Preferred quality for slower computers)
May/June 2011 (Issue #23)
March/April 2011 (Issue #22)
AVENues Facebook Page
AVEN Project Team tumblr